THE HELLION BIBLE OF GLOVERISM
Greetings once more, now that you have found this new religion rather interesting the brothers and sisters of Gloverism may let you in on the book of Gloverism also known as "The Hellion Bible" in this book you shall find many stories about Mr. Glover along with the commandments that us as followers must obey. If you decide that you want to be a part of this worship you must obey the following commandments. If any of these are ever broken it is custom to strap yourself to a chair and watch nothing but Fast Sofa until you realize why we as followers worship Mr. Glover.
THE COMMANDMENTS OF GLOVERISM
Though shall not like any actor better than Crispin
Though shall not go a day without watching a Crispin Movie (10am – is the preferred time)
Though shall believe in Crispin to save mankind
Though shall read the book of Glover- "Rat Catching" (1pm – is the preferred time)
Though shall pray to the Glover God and say "hey you get your damn hands off her for he is our density" every night
Though shall think about Crispin for at least 30 seconds of every day
Though shall not think any nasty or sacrilegious thoughts of Crispin or though will set their tongue on fire
Though shall look after their Socrates from angry, jealous business types
Though shall love Crispin as Crispin loves though back even more
The Only Testament
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The Glover Gospel
And the LORD Crispin said, ‘My spirit shall always strive with man, for that he also is flesh: yet together in time we shall ascend into spirit’.
In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth. There were no hell as life is about progression and not condemnation, for even the most wicked shall be forgived once thy forgives themselves and what they have done and with this in mind two sons were born in different times by God. Jesus and Crispin, and they shall bring hope to the world as they are powerful sons of God and brilliant teachers.
And Crispin grew big over time, showing his brilliance to the world. For he make catchy music concerning clowns and he shows happiness and serenity to the world.
God taught the second Lord Crispin and thy second lord shall teach man, to love and understand, to separate the light from the darkness and let your intact emotions tell you right from wrong.
And God breathed light into Crispin on the 20 of April during the year 1964 AD. For it was a beautiful day for all mankind.
Crispin shall show the world peace and happiness through his brilliant dancing techniques and various talents and he shall teach one to think and question with his slide shows.
Behold, for Crispin surveyed the world and accepted he must share it with all other creatures than his own. And for he questions everything that lives upon Gods land, and to treat others how thy would like to be treated. He only hopes mankind shall follow this wise thinking.
And Crisp and mankind shall respect those that were here before though, including the present world and creatures different from their own species.
To respect all Gods creatures is to understand wisely.
For God taught Jesus and Crispin and Crispin shall teach mankind, that love is what feels best and accepting it shall bring you all closer and make your world a happier place to exist.
During the year 1985 Crispin brought forward to the world McFly, the Earth shall learn from this kind harmless man who stood up to evil Biff and protected thy brother and sister who eventually fell in love.
McFly also taught to man the possibility of Darth Vader brain melting visitors who shall come down from Planet Vulcan and they shall teach man to go to the Enchantment under the sea dance where happiness ensues.
Crispin shall teach man to not make like a tree and get out of there.
Behold for Crispin shall pat your head nicely if though is feeling down, and he says upon to thee: ‘There, there my little friend, bad days come and go, they may feel hurtful, but accepting love shall dry those tears and a smile shall materialize’.
And God sat on a soft grassy hill with his son Crispin and observed all he had created and he said to Crispin: ‘There is good and there is bad, and then there is you Crispin, you must rectify this world as you are the chosen one'. And Crispin replied to the father: 'All man has to do is extract materialism and accept that which feels best for it is love'.
